Words For Your Consideration

I couldn't resist posting a section of today's "Telescope", a weekly column in the Edmonton Journal's Sunday Reader. It's just too clever to be missed:

"Drop the first letter of an existing word to create a new one, and then supply a definition for it. Readers of the Washington Post's Style Invitational were asked to do just that. Here is an alphabetical sampling of the results:

• Amburger: My realization about myself as I'm kidnapped by cannibals.
• Amished: Hungering for a simpler way of life.
• Assover: Any holiday dinner at which an unwanted in-law makes an appearance.
• Bracadabra: A good boob job.
• Brupt: Really, really sudden.
• Egotiation: An I for an I.
• Eminar: Eminem's fifth child.
• Etard: A person who constantly replies to "all" in e-mails directed to only one person.
• Gonize: To kick someone in the groin.
• Hardonnay: You can guess.
• Ho's Who: National registry of prominent hookers.
• Iarrhea: Running on about oneself.
• Ickpocket: A place to put your used Kleenex.
• Irates: After 15 consecutive losing seasons, what's left of Pittsburgh's baseball fans.
• Kin-diving: Incest.
• Mnesia: Forgetting a mnemonic device.
• Ngland: Vietnam.
• Ooperstown: Home of the Bill Buckner Hall of Fame.
• Ouch-and-go: A dominatrix's house call.
• Oxtrot: A particularly ungraceful Dancing With the Stars performance.
• Pectacular: Unbelievably chesty.
• P-portunity: Rest stop.
• Rackdown: The inevitable result of the battle between breast and gravity.
• Rankfurter: Hotdog from the back of the refrigerator.
• Riminal: A man who doesn't clean up his toilet dribble.
• Riskies: Chinese-made cat food.
• Unich: German city voted World's Safest Town for Women.
• Urple: The colour of vomit. "For feeding the baby, Mom always wore her urple sweatshirt."
• XY-moron: A man."