Optimistically Cautious

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Words For Your Consideration

I couldn't resist posting a section of today's "Telescope", a weekly column in the Edmonton Journal's Sunday Reader. It's just too clever to be missed:

"Drop the first letter of an existing word to create a new one, and then supply a definition for it. Readers of the Washington Post's Style Invitational were asked to do just that. Here is an alphabetical sampling of the results:
  • Amburger: My realization about myself as I'm kidnapped by cannibals.
  • Amished: Hungering for a simpler way of life.
  • Assover: Any holiday dinner at which an unwanted in-law makes an appearance.
  • Bracadabra: A good boob job.
  • Brupt: Really, really sudden.
  • Egotiation: An I for an I.
  • Eminar: Eminem's fifth child.
  • Etard: A person who constantly replies to "all" in e-mails directed to only one person.
  • Gonize: To kick someone in the groin.
  • Hardonnay: You can guess.
  • Ho's Who: National registry of prominent hookers.
  • Iarrhea: Running on about oneself.
  • Ickpocket: A place to put your used Kleenex.
  • Irates: After 15 consecutive losing seasons, what's left of Pittsburgh's baseball fans.
  • Kin-diving: Incest.
  • Mnesia: Forgetting a mnemonic device.
  • Ngland: Vietnam.
  • Ooperstown: Home of the Bill Buckner Hall of Fame.
  • Ouch-and-go: A dominatrix's house call.
  • Oxtrot: A particularly ungraceful Dancing With the Stars performance.
  • Pectacular: Unbelievably chesty.
  • P-portunity: Rest stop.
  • Rackdown: The inevitable result of the battle between breast and gravity.
  • Rankfurter: Hotdog from the back of the refrigerator.
  • Riminal: A man who doesn't clean up his toilet dribble.
  • Riskies: Chinese-made cat food.
  • Unich: German city voted World's Safest Town for Women.
  • Urple: The colour of vomit. "For feeding the baby, Mom always wore her urple sweatshirt."
  • XY-moron: A man."



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